Prayer Retreat

First update in practically forever. Hoorah :)

This weekend's prayer retreat (12 hours, 5 of which I didn't stay for...) was a really big time for me. I have felt a lot of joy from it since. Here's what I wrote in my journal from when we took an hour to listen in silence to God.

"Psalms 136 - Your love endures forever

Perhaps sometimes Lord I am frustrated with you because I can't hear you and I don't know what else to do to open my ears further. To some degree I feel like now is one of those times. But as I look around this circle I am filled with joy because of the people here. My heart really loves them, and I must praise you for that. Your love endures forever. So I praise you for the friends you have blessed me with, however shallow that sounds. I can say with confidence that each of them accepts me how I am, without having to proove anything. I don't have to be funny or prove my worth to any of them. They are committed to me and I to them, and together we are committed to You. How? Surely only by your grace. Why? Because you love us. You have changed not only my life, but our lives.

Yet it is not their love which endures. It will fail to meet my deepest needs. It will not last, because they will not last. Only You will. Your will endure forever. I still do not "feel" that your love is enough forever-that it alone would satisfy me, even if it were the only pleasant thing in my life-yet I know by faith your love does endure and is the only good thing. I hope for this God, and I ask you'd reveal pictures of it to me."